Raping me was fun for him.
After, he asked me how I liked it.
Perhaps he already lived in a cell,
I told him and he laughed, stroked me.
So? He was boss. On top.
A woman wanted that, no?
Crying, crying, I said nothing.
Rape was a wound across my sky.
I saw blackness beyond the blue.
My life was twisted, like those girders
Earthquakes throw brutally to the ground.
After such helplessness, what hope?
Going on with my life in blackness,
A black sky, black rage in my heart,
In my mind an endless blackness,
Nothing within me but blackness
Screamed at the boy no longer there,
The screams like walls I took with me,
The walls of screams protecting me,
How could I love without seeing?
Even so, the light pierced me,
Shattering the cell of fury,
Opening my heart again
Under a new sun, once more
Laughing in the chill of fear.
Copyright by Nicholas Gordon
Audio and Video Music: Elegy. By Wayne Jones. Music free to use at YouTube.