What do you do when your mother is
Hysterical, selfish, abusive, and cruel?
What do you do when
really you hate her,
And it's all you can do to be distantly
What do you do when you find her
And the best of your memories are tinted with pain?
now she is old, and needs to be near you,
And you cannot stand to be
near her again?
How do you tell her the truth when the
Keeps accruing like some insurmountable debt?
When the horror
that haunts you goes back to a moment
You cannot remember and cannot
What do you do with your love when your
Has been buried so long that you can't find its grave?
love for a parent lies outside a window
Through which you imagine how
What do you do when whatever you do
cost more than the option you failed to choose?
For whether you turn to
embrace or forsake her,
You're left with a burden you cannot