There was a taxi driver named
Whose wife, named Mary Lou, put him through hell.
for many hours every day
So she could throw his hard-earned cash
On clothes and pocketbooks and shoes and jewels.
world is too full of such fools!
Better a wife who's plain and full of
For you than one who's always thinking of
Ways to spend what
you work hard to earn.
But those who wed for lust will never
Never even thinking what a life
One might have to live with
such a wife.
And so it was with poor Miguel, who drove
long on crowded, dangerous roads
To feed his wife's desire for
Of which, of course, she never had enough,
tired, mostly, to enjoy the charms
He had so long envisioned in his
And, besides, too angry at her greed
To feel the slightest
stirring of his need.
Still, it felt good when Miguel could
Men stare at her and wish that they were he.
One day Mary
Lou, as usual,
Was shopping at a nearby high-end mall
When she saw a
lovely Prada bag
That made her cold heart ping and spirits sag,
at a thousand it was quite a steal,
And yet no calculation could
A way she might get cash enough to pay
For it. And so she
found another way.
With dreams of that bag dancing in her
A little dark-brown clutch with hints of red,
She called a
close friend of her husband, who
Her husband called a cousin. But she
That he would love to get her into bed,
Though he was never
crude in what he said.
She asked him to take her out to lunch,
Was pleased to do, listening while she
Complained about her
And how he treated her so stingily.
He was a
loser, not worthy of her glance,
And here she was, trapped by
All she wanted was a little clutch,
A tiny bag, it
wasn't asking much,
But she knew he was sure to tell her no.
Oh how could he reward her so!
All she did was love him, give him
Other men would treat her as a treasure!
his friend Ramon at last broke in,
As she had expected, "were I
How much does that bag cost?" "Not much," she said.
thousand. It's a steal." He clutched his head.
"A thousand! I don't
have that much! I would,
Believe me, give it gladly if I could.
I have loved you from the moment I
First saw you in the glint in
When he told me about you. And since then
you without a word. But when
You just revealed your feelings, I felt
At last to tell you what you mean to me."
"Oh, Ramon, my
darling, never fear!"
She said. "I have a plan, as you shall
We shall get my stingy husband to
Cough up the money for my
bag, while you
Get everything you want -- and more -- today!
do precisely as I say."
That afternoon Ramon called up his
And asked him for a short-term loan, to tend
To an investment
for which cash was due.
"How much?" Miguel asked. "A grand. Too much
"When can I have it back?" "Just till tomorrow."
Miguel allowed his friend to borrow
A thousand dollars from his cash
As true friends ever one another serve.
Miguel, Ramon went to deliver
The cash to Mary Lou, who gave the
All he could desire, and more than he
Had dreamed of in his
Then off she went back to the Prada store
the bag that she was lusting for.
The next day Miguel inquired of
About the loan. When did he intend
To pay it back? "I
gave it to your wife,"
He said. "This morning. I swear upon my
"I believe you," Miguel replied. "But she
Said nothing of
this interchange to me."
Ramon shrugged, so Miguel said nothing
But waited till they went to bed before
He asked his lovely
wife whether she
Had gotten from Ramon the money he
Had lent him
just the day before. "Oh, yes!"
She said. "And guess what I got --
you'll never guess!"
She hopped right out of bed, turned on the
As if assuming mutual delight,
And took out the Prada bag, a treasure
So beautiful it must give equal pleasure
of them. "It was a steal!" she said.
"I knew you wouldn't mind!" Then
back to bed
She leapt. "Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you!"
Cried out, smothering him with kisses, while he
Just lay there,
hapless, helpless, hopeless, numb
To love and lust alike, thinking how
He was, and how many miles he'd have to drive
To pay for this,
and how he must deprive
Himself of little things he might
While she, laboring to his member buoy,
Plied his body with
Engaging every morsel but the